coming around

first there was this... then this...


and finally...

little gemma kate.

she arrived 9 days past her due date and was just perfect. i planned to have a different birth experience this time around and educated myself as much as i could about natural childbirth. it was a crazy amazing experience. and i feel lucky to have been healthy and strong enough to do it. labor spanned a few days, er... weeks but when she finally arrived, after four hours of active labor, i felt on top of the world! i just kept saying over and over, "she's perfect! she's perfect!" and "oh, my god, i can't believe i just did that!"

the adjustment from 3 of us to 4 has been a challenge. i prepared zoe for the arrival of her new sister and she is more than pleased with her. i did not however prepare myself for the guilt, pain and exhaustion that was about to set in trying to do it all for two little ones. i hated not having zoe with us the first night after gemma was born. we came home the same day, but zoe was sick and stayed with her grandma. even though we had this amazing new baby, it just felt like something was missing without her at home. i felt as though i betrayed her by bringing this new little one into a world revolving solely around her.

needless to say, there have been some trying days. but i will take them. because the joy that i get from these two little spirits is something that i've never experienced anywhere, ever. and i wouldn't trade that for anything.